Much has changed since i first posted that blog, obviously having been about 4 years since i posted it, id like to surmise what happened but it is extremely difficult to do. I would like to bring from time to time the things that had the most impact and most clarity of memory when recalling, most of them have had an emotional impact that hasn't quite left me.
Of Kat.
How many years had i obsessed about her? and why?
Guilt, plain and simple, out of guilt i spent nearly a decade thinking about her. I believed i made the mistake in ending the friendship, and of all the things that i found out about her i blamed myself for, i cant be clear of what had happened but i felt bad enough, but here is the thing that i finally came to realize about 2-3 months ago. It wasn't my fault, it never was.
All the things she had done had been her choice and i had nothing to do with it, suffice it to say that i was haunted. Most of my decisions were based on that guilt.... i was an idiot for a looooong time......(To be continued...)
There's more detail to this of course but i long have lost any more interest in analyzing it all ways but to stop, i don't ever want to get into it again. i'm done!
Next...
Of Friends new.
Turmoil, conflict and chaos
